So that's what £100,000 in cash looks like

It pays to believe in your product. In this put-your-money-where-your-mouth is campaign, 3M use a street poster made from two sheets of glass, containing over £100,000 in cash, to demonstrate the strength of their belief in the product's ability to resist the advances of bus stop vandals. In fact, they want as far as to tell members of the public that they could keep the contents if they could get at it. If only I had come to work via a JCB with a thermal lance in my brief case. Mind you, I have no doubt that the poster would have come to an untimely end in certain parts of London. No, I don't mean the East End, I mean the City of London. As we now know, most of the UK's major criminals work in the Banks, Brokerages and Financial establishments around Thread Needle Street. While it might have taken Arthur Daily a few hours to find a suitable hammer drill, the average Hedge Fund Manager has enough ill-gotten gains floating around to call in an Airstrike from the US Airforce/Carlisle Group/Bush neo- conservative welfare fund. Even the Brinks Mat boys could never have mustered the resources at the disposal of the average Derivatives Dealer. Go on 3M, I dare you to set it up somewhere in The Square Mile. Those ruthless, thieving Bankers will have it out of there before you can say, "It's as easy as asset stripping a pensioner's pension fund."

You show me yours and I'll... well, I'll tell on you.

I love this true to life ad for Energizer. It shows what kids might get up to if you let the batteries in their toys run out of power. Toys out of power only serves to let nature take it's course and the next thing you know... the kids are heading out the gate of Eden at a rate of knots. Let this be a warning to you. Get Energizer into the toys or they'll end up going at sex education 101 like the Energizer bunny. At this point in the blog, I imagine a girl I knew at the age of 3 or 4 is shockingly recalling how I once reneged on my promise to engage in a recipricol show and tell session. Having had my peakaboo, I promptly ran off to tell her Mum what she had done... without returning the compliment and, to make matters worse, even told her Mum it was her all her idea. I hope it hasn't adversly affected her ability to trust men? Don't worry Marrian, your secret is safe with me. Ooops! Anyway, I blame the parents... who had obviously not sorted out the battery situation. Mind you, I shudder to think what might have gone on if Barbie and Action Man came with Energizer batteries. "Oh Action Man." "Oh Barbie." "What about me?" "Bugger off Ken!"

Do I look big in this bum?

This German campaign aimed at job-seekers stuck in dead-end jobs has constantly made me laugh out loud in public while heralding a wind of change in creative thinking regarding ambient marketing. They started with ambient posters stuck on the side of every kind of vending machine imaginable. The posters reveal that inside the vending machine is a bored stiff human worker. Now they have got to the bottom of the matter with an event entrance poster that shows how we try to improve our lot by 'ingratiating ourselves with the boss.' This 'tunnel vision' approach needs to be put to one side and you need to take a more hard-assed (sorry) approach to developing your career. Ambient and experience marketing is one of the best sources of amazing creative ideas. The combination of concept tied into a sense of theater seems to bring out the best in creative departments across Europe, putting fun into building the Client's bottom (sorry) line.

For F@*k's sake

How can you switch on to a Gordon Ramsey show and then complain when he goes verbal to the tune of 243/187 F words (depending on the news source). In response to phone calls to Channel 4, Lib Dem MP's were forced to stop wondering which professional pervert leader not to elect; Ofcom were forced not to comment/do nothing (what's new) and the not so great and the not so good everywhere were yelling into their lattes in Cafes from Bloombury to Islington. If you don't like the Gordon Ramsey approach to verbals... don't watch. Why are you watching if you are a sensitive soul/bore? Does it hint at that you are in denial about your latent masochistic tendencies? Do you have a lack of things of consequence to occupy your dull life and ploddy intellect. Get a life. Stop watching celebrity-floging PR bullshit TV and pick up the phone and complain about theiving bankers, dumbass politicians, murderous conflicts, teenage drinking, crap healthcare, company pension fund raids, asset stripping tychoons, Job losses. Russian oligarchs, American robber barons and International Criminals owning our footie clubs, Celebrity retards influencing our kids with their own vacuous TV shows etc. I could go on, but then I have already... Fcuk me!