Can't get Venice out of my head

Next in the landscape department is this painting of the Academy in Venice. The outline is done and I can't wait to get painting. To get me in the mood, I will be thinking about my visit last year. It is the most amazing city I have ever visited. I hope I can do it justice.

Work in Progress

This haunting picture of Laura is next on the list of paintings I will be working on this Summer. The outlines is up on the canvas and I will soon be getting into the job of painting. The idea is that I am going to work on it in Black and White in the style of the old masters who worked figures up in gray before getting into skin tones. Fingers crossed.

Bridge

Just a little bridge in the middle of nowhere connecting two sides of a gently flowing river busy doing nothing but reflecting the sun and capturing my imagination with regards to all those before me and after me who will take a moment to admire the love someone put into making something that offers form way beyond function.

Ron

He may be in his 80s but he still acts, sings, wines, dines, reads in French and English, loves business, physics and walking for hours on end in good company. A lesson to us all. A work in progress.

Harbour

At first glance, these deep see fishing trawlers were sitting at rest, but when you watched them for a while you notice they never, ever stop moving on the restless tide.

Sunflower 2

The Sun makes everything possible. Even the glass, feathers and paint this work is made from.

Lily

I once went to see Monet's water lilys at L'Orangerie in Paris. It was closed for the first time in 50 years. I went again. It was open. I had to respond in kind.

Music 2

Same MO. Different result.

Music 3

Different song.

Music 1

I love composing and I love painting. This is what happens when you try to do both at the same time.

Portal

I have seen how light the body seems in death. Something more than the air in our lungs goes missing. I don't know what it is. I don't know where it goes. I'll let you know if I suss it out.

B4 of 4

Everybody benefits

B3 of 4

The Bees get in on the act

B2 of 4

The Flowers soak it up

B1 OF 4

The Sun shines down

The window

Ever seen an eye as the Pupil expands and the Iris contracts in response to light? Two muscles that reduce or increase the amount of light entering the eye. That light is converted into electrical impulses, our brain interprets our vision of the world. Go look into the eyes of someone you love and take a look into the place where they create their vision of you. What do you see?

That Day

Just a single, solitary house on a vast headland in Wales. You wouldn't be allowed to build it now. It speaks to a time before the car when it enjoyed complete isolation form the world. A place where you could watch the waves and listen to the gulls for days on end and never see a single soul save for the opportunity to get a glimpse of your own.

Mel

Caught in the act. She, who like us all, will play many roles in her life. But she, unlike most of us, will get paid by the West End for hers. My wonderful daughter Mel, Ophelia, Juliet, Bessie, Peggy, Arkadnia, Lady Macbeth, Lady Bracknell, Vivian, Meg.... etc, etc

Tree/branches/lungs

Don't the bankers get it? The most valuable thing in life is breathing. What the trees give off keeps us alive. Nothing in your deepest, darkest offshore accounts and vaults is anywhere near as valuable.

Found it

They've spent billions looking for the Higgs Boson particle in Cern. I got there first.

Seed

When you think about the extraordinary microscopic details of the actual moment of creation. It's a miracle each and every one of us is here.

Dragonfly

They were here before us and chances are they will be here long after we have been and gone.

Michael

He was the strong, silent type not given to sensationalism, hyperbole or bullshit. Words of wisdom, it seems, take time in the making, seconds in delivery and last a lifetime in impact. My Father.

Power Station

My Father told them not to take the middle part of the station out. They didn't listen and the chimneys started to move outwards to the point where it has cost millions just to hold the structure together. The asbestos has gone and so has my Father but the energy trail they left lives on.

Here comes the sun

It showers our planet with energy. That energy drives everything we taste, smell, touch, hear, see, think and feel. How little we appreciate the things that have value beyond measure.

May you never be too old to play

When we were young, everything seemed more intense, more interesting. The days were longer because we lived in the moment. It pays to be mindful. There is no past. There is no future. There is only now.

The Celestine Prophecy

The book made me think about the quantum exchanges that take place in every intimate act. There is enough energy stored in the human body to create an atomic explosion. Mind how you go.

Meet the real me

JF took one look at this self portrait and said, "You need help." He might be right.

I'm telling your Mum

That lazy git Todger, if he isn’t sleeping, he’s, well he’s... sleeping. We had a meeting at the Flabby Road studios to discuss the Comfortably Dumb tour sponsorship deal. We get some free studio time; they get an inflatable banner with the word “Flabby” on it.Seems fair. Anyway, we left the negotiating to Todger, him being the mathematician of the outfit. He only failed his math’s O Level, the rest of us got “Unclassified.” Right in the middle of his pitch, he nods off. He only woke up when his head hit the table. When he sat up with the remains of a jam doughnut glued to his hooter, we knew the deal was off! We took Todger home to his Mum’s. She tells us he’s got something called Narcolepsy. He can nod off at any moment. Just then, we hear a crash coming from the driveway: Todger has kipped off while parking the van and taken out the postman on his bike and hit the garage door. “I told him to lookout,” said the postman from under the van. “He’s got Narcolepsy,” said Togger’s Mum. “Yeah, and he’s deaf,” said Dick, “It’s like in that film: Double indignity.” Just then Todger comes round and stagers out from behind the wheel. He starts shouting at the postman and then Rick starts doing all this Bruce Lee stuff. The postman thinks he’s in for a kicking. “Don’t mind him,” says Dan, “It’s just the epilepsy.” “Bloody Hell, I say, “It’s like One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.” “No. It’s not,” says Todger’s Mum. “It’s worse. Much worse. I’ve seen them at a gig when only Dick was left pounding on his organ.” Dick starts to say something crude but I throw a fist full of letters at him. “That’s illegal,” shouts the postman who threatens to call the police before he notices Dan, dressed in his Roy Rogers outfit, going for his six-shooter. Todger starts whistling the theme tune from Fist Full of Dollars. “Go ahead, make my day,” says Dan, metamorphosing his characters and confusing the hell out of the postman. The postman’s eyebrows furrow. The sound of gunfire fills the air. Everyone dives for cover. The smoke clears to the sight of the postman running down the street while Dick, Todger, Rick and Dan are being attacked by Todger’s Mum with a broom. A few days in and I am wondering if it’s time to leave the band before I end with a Jack Nicholson-style lobotomy. Whatever next?

Rehearse this

Are these guys serious or what? They want rehearsals in fancy dress! I had to drag my gear out of the car in broad daylight dressed as Nelson. That twat of a keyboard player, Dick Sleight (of hand), kept shouting, “Kiss me Hard-on,” right in the middle of Us and Them. If he does it during the gig, I’ll give him Dark Side of the Moon straight in the kisser. During lunch we discussed names for the band over a curry. I suggested Pillar of Wind on account of it being a Pink Floyd track and the smell emanating from the general direction of Rick Monsoon, the bummer (sorry drummer). By the time Todger Voters(local politician), the bass player, is throwing up in the bog, “It’s vindaloo in the loo time,” shouts Dick, we have decided on Comfortably Dumb as the name. They think it a fitting tribute to one of the great Floyd tracks. I prefer to think of it in terms of the other guitarist, Dan Glamour, who keeps noodling all over my vocals with that multi-million watt amp stack of his. I offer to re-arrange his peddle effects cables. He offers to re-arrange my features. In the interests of band politics, I offer to drink him under the table in the boozer. We end up pissed and comfortably numb and dumb in the pub with all our gear locked in the rehearsal room overnight. That is until Todger hits on the fun idea of breaking in through the skylight. It was going well until he fell through the bloody thing and ended up in the jewelers next door. Burglar alarm. Police. Meat wagon. Fingerprints. Criminal record. Bollocks! No job and now a Criminal Record...

Meet the Band

I started browsing through the band members wanted vacancies for months when this offer of a spot with a Pink Floyd tribute band came up. I don’t sound like Dave Gilmour but you’ve got to start somewhere. I make it to the audition just outside London and my sore throat actually makes me sound like Gilmour. I try to explain that I normally sound like Sting but they are so busy thinking about up and coming studio and tour sessions that they hire me. “Did anyone else audition?” I ask. “Want a coffee from Starbucks?” replies the bass player, Todger Waiters. Is he bonding or avoiding the question. It was later I discover that he’s almost deaf. I thought that duff note at the start of Time was just ring rust. By the time he bought an empty cup of coffee back, I realised he also had Parkinson’s. What next? Oh Jesus. The drummer, Rick Monsoon, suffers from intermittent epilepsy (it helps on some solo parts apparently), the keyboard player, Dick Sleight, is an ex-porn star (always laughs at his own “I’m still playing the organ” joke), and the other guitarist, Dan Glamour, dresses up as a cowboy at weekends and goes looking for Pocahontus in and around The Oracle Shopping Centre in Reading - oh how the shop assistants in the Disney shop must love to see him coming. Not! What am I letting myself in for? In the next installment I’ll be covering rehearsals...

Wam Bam Jam - Birth of a Band

Like a lot of people, the boss spoke to me for the first time the other day. He got my name wrong and then said," You're Fired, er i mean redundant." I left the building in a politically correct state of bemusement and went home to review my finances with my financial advisers: the cat, the dog and Alf my life insurance/pension bloke. Apparently, I have nothing to worry about: it’s only wild animals with valuable skins who tend to meet their end courtesy of a poacher’s incandescent tool up the Khyber. Despite his reassurance, you’ll never see me browsing through the African section of the local Travel Agents. I guess that sense of trepidation makes me boring but I can honestly say I’ve crammed a lot into the past two decades. Perhaps I should be content with the latest of 3 marriages, 12 kids (accumulative total), reasonable income and healthy social life I have, but I still wake up every morning listening for the sound of the starting pistol. On your marks - wake up to the same old Radio 4 news. Get set - hate the same old drive to work. Go - relive the same daily fantasies about a life more meaningful. Why can’t I help but feel as though something profound, meaningful, possibly of earth-shattering consequence is missing? If the world won’t change to meet me half way (what an ego), I will have to change. So here’s the deal: from this moment forward, I’m going to live the life of an overachieving-existentialist; you know: balls-out and bum in the breeze - sometimes both at the same time. For the benefit of posterity, I shall keep detailed notes and digital photographs of this on-going experiment. My hope is that others my feel inspired to throw caution to the wind and discover the joys of running amok through the rest of their lives. The first thing I am going to do is join that band I have been talking about for years... more soon.

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